A bed of nails
by Banksiesbabe99
Summary: He used to slep on a bed of roses, now thanks to his mistake, those roses have turned to nails. One shot CG fic.


Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

**A/N : Right this is just an idea I got in my head, and couldn't get rid of, so here it is. It's just a one shot, or rather is meant to be, but if I get enough response and can actually be bothered, I might add one or 2 more chapters, who knows lol. Enjoy, and please review **

I'd always been a little self destructive, right from being a small child. When ever I'd had something good going, I always managed to ruin it. I thought as years trailed past, I'd grown out of it, ruining things less and less. Maybe it was her, maybe because she believed in me, I was able to believe in myself. She never once put me down, or made me feel I wasn't good enough. Well until now. I admit, I deserved it, I'd ruined things good and proper this time, there was no-way an apology and kiss would fix what I had single handedly ruined.

"Hun, wait, wait, let me explain"! I shouted, hopping around on one leg, as I attempted at pulling my pants on.

"Don't bother". She screamed, tears pouring down her soft cheeks.

She slammed the door behind her, the walls shuddering in her quake. I knew that would be the last time she stepped through the door. There was no way she'd have me back now, there was no going back from what I'd done. It was unforgivable.

"You coming back"?

"No. Just get your stuff and get out". I sighed, plonking down in the brown leather chair that we'd picked out together, when we first got this place.

It felt like a lifetime waiting for her to leave. She was probably stealing something, but I didn't care, she'd help me lose so much already, nothing else mattered.

"Call me". She leant forward on her way passed, hoping to get me back in the mood with a lingering kiss. A kiss that half an hour earlier, I'd been more than willing to participate in.

"I don't think so". I hissed, feeling sick to my stomach, just thinking about it.

"Suit yourself". She replied without a care in the world, as she practically danced out of the door.

I sat glaring at the door, almost willing for her to come walking back in, waiting for me to just apologize, and have everything go back to how it was. It wasn't going to happen though. I knew where she'd have gone, finding her wouldn't be the problem, getting near her, or getting her to even listen to me, was the problem.

Not knowing what else to do, I got up, retrieving a bottle of cheap whiskey that one of the neighbors had brought round when we'd had our house warming a few months ago. I suspected at the time, they'd brought the whiskey, simply because someone had bought it them, they didn't like it, so bringing it for us was the simplest way of getting rid of it. Neither of us liked it, but we hadn't had the opportunity to off load it on someone else, but non of that mattered now.

It's bitterness burnt the back of my throat, as I drank mouthful after mouthful, pleasuring in the heat that had engulfed my mouth and throat. I didn't like the taste, but continued to take a swig every so often, as if it was some sort of punishment.

In the silence of the apartment, I began to try to think what to do. After everything, I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without her, yet oddly enough, I knew I'd never get her back. Most people in my position would contemplate suicide, not me, that was too selfish, I'd already hurt her once, and as much as she hates me right now, my death on her conscience was unfair. I didn't deserve the peace death brought anyway, I deserved to suffer, that I knew.

So with suicide 100 off the agenda, I began to figure out exactly what had caused this, lapse of judgment shall we call it. Hell it was just me ruining things again, I was back to my good old self. I knew things had been going too well, a new apartment, good job, gorgeous fiancé, it was only a matter of time really, before I did something to spoil things.

_Sitting here wasted and wounded  
At this old piano  
Trying hard to capture  
The moment this morning I don't know  
'cause a bottle of vodka  
Is still lodged in my head  
And some blond gave me nightmares  
I think she's still in my bed  
As I dream about movies  
They won't make of me when I'm dead_

_  
_**Flashback**

"Dim lights, candles, roses, food, romantic music". I mentally checked everything off in my mind. "And the most important thing". I patted my pants pocket, making sure I hadn't lost the key ingredient.

I had been planning this for a few weeks now, wanting everything to be perfect. My idea of perfect also meant she would be unable to resist. I scanned the room again, double checking everything, knowing she'd be home anytime soon. Suddenly the phone began ringing, startling me. My heart booming in my chest, I reached for the cordless.

"Hello"? I spoke, still trying to regain my composure.

"Hey Geeger, so you all set"? Charlie asked. He of course had discovered my plans long ago, and had great pleasure in involving himself.

"Yes, I'm just waiting for her". I replied.

"Oh well good luck, talk later". And with that he was gone.

"I'm home"! It was her, she was home.

I dashed into my hiding place, just out of sight, where I'd be able to sneak up behind her, when she'd entered the room. I could hear her every movement. She was incredibly predictable. 1st she'd put her bag down, then her keys would be dumped on the table, after that she'd hang her coat up. I mentally listened out for each noise, ticking each one off in my head, as I heard them. Next came her shoes clomping their way toward me.

"Guy"? She asked, stepping slowly into the room. "Oh my God".

I crept up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, and resting my head on her shoulder, planting an array of kisses on her neck. I felt her jump at my touch, then relax when she realized it was me.

"What's this"? She whispered, she leaned into me.

"It's just my way of showing how much I love you and"…

"And"?

"And it's 12 years exactly since our 1st kiss". I told her. "3rd of March 1994". I clarified.

"Oh Guy". She turned into my arms and kissed me.

I could see her throughout the meal, I had prepared. She kept looking my way, almost suspiciously. It was all I could do not to laugh, or even smirk. Toward the end of the meal, I began to get nervous. My collar felt as though it was strangling me, my hands began to get clammy and shaky. Before I had planned, but knowing it was now or never, I pushed my dish of gateau away.

"Um Con, I um, I need to say um something". I began, tugging at my collar, and stuttering.

"Guy, are you ok"? She looked at me quizzically, yet there was a slight worry in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm just hot". I gave my collar one last tug. "I um, I know um recently things have um, well they've all been happening at once, but I um, well, um". I struggled. I quickly stood, pulled it out of my pocket, and fell down onto one knee. "Connie Ann Moreau, will you do the honor of marrying me"? I said quickly, but was pleased I managed not to stutter.

"Oh God". She sat there, her hand covering her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. I stayed knelt in front of her for what seemed like an age. "Yes, oh God yes". She jumped into my arms.

**End flashback**  
__

With an ironclad fist I wake up and  
French kiss the morning  
While some marching band keeps  
Its own beat in my head  
While we're talking  
About all of the things that I long to believe  
About love and the truth and  
What you mean to me  
And the truth is baby you're all that I need

I thought at the time that, that was what I wanted. Though there was always a slight fear about our future. I constantly worried whether we were ready for this. I mean I'd only ever been with one person – her. Don't people say you're meant to experiment before settling down with 1 person for the rest of your life.

I loved her, don't get me wrong, I really did, but I was scared. The thought of for the rest of my entire life, I would only be with the one person. It freaked me out, so much so, that I spent all my waking hours wondering, wondering if we'd missed out on anything. I mean the average guy can have slept with 2 or 3 different women, before settling down, but me, I'd only ever been with her. It wasn't a big deal really, but it scared me more than I liked to admit.

_  
I want to lay you on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed on nails  
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is  
And lay you down on bed of roses_

Well I'm so far away  
That each step that I take is on my way home  
A king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night  
Just to see through this payphone  
Still I run out of time

_  
_**Flashback**

"Guy"? A hand waved in front of my face.

"Huh, what? I'm sorry". I turned my attention back to trying to comprehend what she was saying.

"Look if you want to back out, just say". She whispered so as the people around us wouldn't hear.

"What no. What makes you think I wanna back out". I lied slightly. Though the idea had been crossing my mind as of late.

"You just, you don't seem to be interested in any of this". She said, though continued keeping her voice low.

"Con honey, they're flowers, how interested would you like me to be? I get any more interested and I'll be bordering on femininity". I joked my way out of the problem, though the truth was, I hadn't paid much or any attention to most of the plans.

"I could cope with you being a little more feminine". Her eyes gleamed as laughter played on her lips. "Then at least no other girls would check you out". The last bit I knew was meant as a joke, but there was a hint of seriousness in her tone.

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna let 'em touch. You're the only girl for me". I answered, half heartedly kissing her cheek, then guiding her toward more flowers, that I knew would take her mind off the conversation.

We finished picking flowers, or rather Connie choosing and me just agreeing for the sake of it. I couldn't begin to tell you what we were having as centre pieces, or what flower was going in the button hole of my tux. Charlie probably had a better idea, he seemed more interested in this whole wedding than I did.

All the way home in the car, she kept stealing glances at me. The first few times, I glanced back, forcing a smile, but after so long, I was getting irritated. Why was she continually glancing at me? I hadn't gone anywhere in the past 5 seconds. Apart from controlling the car, I hadn't moved.

"Baby, are you sure you're ok"? Aah there it was, I knew she was going to ask something like that. "You're just really quiet, and well not acting like yourself".

"I'm fine, I'm just tired, and think I'm starting with a cold". I replied, hoping that, she'd drop it there.

"You do feel a little warm". She replied, as she reached over and felt my forehead.

I began to feel myself getting annoyed, biting back what I'm sure would be a hurtful remark. All I wanted was to be left to my own devices for a few hours, not be dragged around every flower store in Minnesota. We weren't getting married for another 6 months, any flowers she'd have picked out, would be dead anyway.

When we arrived home, she proceeded to call Charlie, her mom, and Julie. I could hear the excited squeal in her tone, as she described every little detail. I on the other hand, disappeared to our room, where I knew I would be left in peace for the rest of Connie's calls. I sat watching one of the many sports channels, totally allowing time to slip away from me.

"Guy, dinners ready". Connie's head popped around the doorway.

I slowly got up from the bed, feeling my earlier mood drifting back. I knew she'd try and talk wedding talk over dinner to me, and it was something I could really do without. All we ever talked about recently was the wedding. I was beginning to wish I hadn't asked.

Throughout dinner, Connie began conversation after conversation, but I did little to keep them going. I played it off that I was feeling a little under the weather, returning to the bed room straight after dinner. Little did I know this was how it was going to be, for weeks to come.

During the week, everything was fine, neither of us had the time to plan the wedding, but weekends became my mortal enemy. I was constantly distant, playing on the whole 'the groom only really plans the stag night', but she wouldn't have any of it. We began arguing more than we ever had. Every night I would begin feel guilty, and worm my way back into her good books, only for a few days later to have to do it again.

**End Flashback**

_Or it's hard to get through  
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you  
I'll just close my eyes and whisper,  
Baby blind love is true_

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed on nails  
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is  
And lay you down on bed of roses

_  
_Before I knew it, the bottle was nearly empty, but I felt no different. The visions of her dashing out, the look on her face replayed over and over, haunting me. The pain in her eyes evident, though as always, she tried to hide her hurt by fronting herself as angry. It didn't work with me, I could see her pain a mile off.

Taking another swig of whiskey, I laid my head back, mulling over everything. My brain slipping into overdrive, asking myself questions that I already really knew the answers to, even though I wished they were going to be different.

When I heard the bang, I didn't bother to open my eyes, I knew what it was, I suppose I'd been sat here really, expecting it. I wasn't going to get out of the inevitable, even if I had gone out, or tried to avoid it.

"You son of a bitch". The bottle was snatched from my grasp and flung across the room as though it was no lighter than a feather, the glass shattering into a thousand shards on impact of the wall. "What the fuck did you think you were doing, HUH"? I was yanked from my seat by the collar of my shirt. I didn't bother to fight. "She still here"? He growled, slamming me into a wall.

"If you're gonna hit me, hit me". I mumbled.

"Hit you? What makes you think you even deserve that? Will it make **you** feel better huh"?

"For fuck sake, just fucking hit me and get it over with". I screamed, feeling an unknown anger rising to the surface.

"You're not worthy of the pain". He hissed, pushing away from me.

I watched him walk a few steps away, as though he needed to be out of arm reach, incase he felt the sudden urge to hit me. He was breathing heavy, and his stare was cold and hard. If looks could kill, I'm sure I'd be laid 6 foot under already. He was seething with anger, just waiting to explode.

"What the hell were you thinking"? He tried his hardest to level his tone, but there was still so much hatred present. "You're meant to be getting married in 6 weeks. **6 weeks** Guy".

"I don't know Fulton ok, it just happened". I mumbled.

"It just happened. Earthquakes just happen Guy. You knew exactly what you were doing".

I didn't reply, because the truth of the matter was, I had known what I was doing, I had been neither inebriated, or suffering from a head injury.  
__

The hotel bar hangover whiskey's gone dry  
The barkeeper's wig's crooked  
And she's giving me the eye  
I might have said yeah  
But I laughed so hard I think I died

_  
_**Flashback**

"Have a good weekend". One of my colleagues called, as he walked passed my open office door.

"Yeah, you too". I responded, watching him disappear from sight. "Have a good weekend, yeah right". I muttered bitterly.

With only six weeks to the wedding, Connie was dashing around like crazy. There hadn't been a weekend in the last month, that hadn't ended up in an argument. The strain this **one** day was putting on our relationship was phenomenal. All she ever wanted to do was talk about was the wedding. She'd even begun ringing me at work asking for ideas on this, that and the other. I felt like I was drowning, unable to swim to the surface.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. I looked at my watch, it was only 3 pm, it surely couldn't be Connie already, she wouldn't have even finished work yet, and as much as this wedding was consuming her, she never usually called during office hours. I say usually in the calmest of tones.

"Guy Germaine speaking". I answered, closing my eyes tightly, hoping and praying it wasn't her.

"Ahh, Mr. Germaine, It's Mr. Blake here from Blake's limo and car rental. I've tried ringing your fiancé but unfortunately am unable to get in touch with her". I felt like screaming. "I'm just calling to inform you that we've had a cancellation, and the white Rolls Royce is available, if you would care to swap".

"Um, well I'm not sure without really speaking with Connie. We're on a budget you see, so could I maybe call you back". I really didn't want to be thinking about this.

"You could, but I can't reserve the Rolls, until you pay a deposit. It's a highly sought after car, and I'm not at liberty to simply hold"… He began.

"Well you know what, we'll just stick with our original booking. Thanks for the offer, but no". I answered, quickly adding a goodbye before putting the phone down.

I suppose I should have felt a pang on guilt, Connie had been originally desperate for the Rolls, and had been disappointed when she hadn't been able to get it. If I'd really wanted to, I could have agreed, an changed the booking. Thinking about it, it had been the perfect opportunity for me to surprise her with something romantic, like I used to. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done something remotely romantic for her.

The phone began ringing, startling me out of my thoughts. Without giving it any thought I lifted the phone from the cradle.

"Guy Germaine".

"Guy, honey, I'm just calling to tell you, I'm going with Julie tonight, to pick out some things for the nursery, so I'll be home later than usual". Connie told me.

"Oh ok". I answered half heartedly. This was another thing that Connie was driving me mad with, Julie and Charlie's baby. "Oh um, the guy from the limo place called. He just um wanted to know if we wanted to change our booking. The Rolls became available. I didn't really know what to say, but he said he wouldn't reserve it for us without a deposit, so I just said no".

"WHAT! Guy, how could you say no". She shrieked.

"Well it would have cost more, I did ask him if I could get back to him later, and he just said it would probably have been booked by then". I tried desperately to keep my composure.

"Oh my God Guy, how can you have said no, you knew how much we wanted the Rolls". She whined.

"How much **you** wanted the Rolls! Look the guy rang me at work, what else was I meant to do? I can't just drop everything to sort wedding details out". I was fast losing it.

"Yet **I** somehow manage to". Connie replied bitterly. I should have felt guilty but I didn't. "Look it doesn't matter, **I'll** ring him back and try to swap. I'll talk to you later". And with that, the phone went dead.

**End flashback**  
__

When you close your eyes  
Know I'll be thinking about you  
While my mistress she calls me  
To stand in her spotlight again  
Tonight I won't be alone  
But you know that don't  
Mean I'm not lonely I've got nothing to prove  
For it's you that I'd die to defend

_  
_"Is she… Is she ok"? I managed to utter.

"What do you think? She's just seen her fiancé in bed with another woman, course she's not ok". Was Fulton's reply. "I'll never understand you guy, you had everything, and you've just thrown the best thing to ever happen to you away, like she's no more than a piece of crap on your shoe".

"Ok Fult, I don't need the lecture, I know how much deep shit I'm in here ok". I snapped angrily.

"Tough Guy, cause you're gonna hear it. You've done some stupid shit in your time Guy, but you're never gonna get her back, not ever. You'll be lucky if she can even bear to be in the same room as you".

I was just letting Fulton's words sink in, when the door banged open once again, Charlie storming into the room. He looked furious, I'd never seen him this mad before, and I'd known him 20 years. His eyes stern and menacing. I subconsciously began edging closer to Fulton, hoping he at least may protect me.

"You bastard. Do you have any idea what you've done". Charlie continued toward me, I daren't answer him. "Huh, lost your voice now, makes a change from your mind".

"Charlie, will you just calm down". Fulton stepped in, though I was unsure whether he would prevent Charlie from killing me.

"No Fulton, I damn well won't calm down. Did you not see her". Charlie turned toward Fulton.

"Yeah I did, but what good would it do, punching his lights out". Fulton reasoned.

Charlie growled a response, before beginning to pace, his hands closing into a fist, then releasing. He didn't look at me once, this more than anything un-nerved me. As painful as it may have been for me, I'd have rather have had him punch me.

"Fulton, go pack her a bag, she'll need some of her stuff". Charlie finally said.

"Her closets the left one, there's some of her stuff in the bathroom". I mumbled.

Fulton nodded, before glancing warily between me and Charlie, probably wondering whether it would be safe to leave us alone. Well safe for me anyway.

"I can't believe you'd be so stupid Guy, 10 years into your relationship and you decided you've had enough". Charlie blurted out after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I still love her". I replied.

"Well what did you mean to happen huh"?

"I dunno, but I didn't go into that bar tonight looking for anyone else". I told him. "Whatever you might think of me Charlie, I would never intentionally hurt her. It's just that all she's been going on about is the wedding, and I haven't had a spare minute, and well, I got scared ok".

"Then you should have told her Guy. Do you not think I was scared of marrying Jules, huh, but I didn't see it as the perfect chance to get my leg over. You have hurt her Guy, more than you'll ever know". He was strangely more calm.

"Ok, I think I've got everything". Fulton reappeared.

"Look, can you just, can you just tell her I love her, and I'm sorry". I asked. "Please". I pleaded.

"Yeah, we'll tell her, won't we Charlie". Fulton answered, nudging Charlie.

"Yeah. But just remember Guy. You had a bed of roses, now you've got a bed of nails". And with that he left.

"Keep your chin up, huh". Fulton winked, managing a small smile before he also followed Charlie out of the door.  
__

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed on nails  
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is  
And lay you down on bed of roses

Charlie was right. With Connie life had been perfect, but now, after a stupid rash decision, I'd just lost everything I loved.

So what do you think. It's just a one shot, I got the idea and just couldn't get it outta my head. So please R&R!


End file.
